[to the love of my life.... thank you]
one night i dreamt that i was standing on a picket fence on a grassy hill. the landscape stretched on for eternities, countless slopes and grassy knolls weaving in and out towards the expanding horizon. the sky was clear of clouds and clear of sun, but the blue was blinding to my eyes.
i squinted left and right as i kept my balance on the fence. i saw persons dressed in white pass me by on either sides of the fence. it started as a trickle of persons i barely knew, but as time went on i saw people in my life- those i knew and talked to, those i hung out with, those i loved and those i lost. family, friends, everyone.
but as i stood there watching everyone, i saw them all walk away. some would stay close to the fence. some would come and talk to me, laugh with me and cry with me. but none would ever stay with me- they would eventually leave me standing there. and i would watch them go on without me. sometimes i would cry as they left me, other times i'd stand there in isolation and true grit, and just continue squinting away to avoid the tears.
one day i sat there on that same fence, my face in my hands, tired of looking at everyone so happy and carefree, content with their lives to simply ignore mine, and just wanting everything to stop, when i suddenly felt a hand around my waist. i looked up wildly and saw someone i thought i would never see come near me, let alone touch me. i had remembered watching him from afar, like a wistful child wanting something so good and perfect that it had been out of my reach. before i knew it, i had turned around to face him and gazed into those eyes i had admired from a distance. embarrassment gripped me and i looked away from him, ashamed for him to see me as i was perched upon this fence. that's when i heard something odd- a chuckle. i looked around again and heard him speak- his words ran through my blood like a strong river current- powerful and strong, but soothing.
"hey, i'm just like you, you know."
that's when i opened my eyes properly and saw he was sitting on the fence with me.
i felt his hands take mine, our fingers interlacing, brushing foreign skin that we've somehow known all our lives. i felt my body pouring into him; molding into his cedar frame and nestling against his body, drawing comfort from his warmth and stilling my own troubled heartbeat by listening to his steady breathing. it was like hearing the ocean wash over me, pulling away the stress and sadness i once felt. i looked up again into his gaze, almost disbelieving, almost doubtful, thinking that this was just another person who would stop by the fence and leave me again. just like the others.
but then i felt his tender fingers under my chin and his cool lips against the side of my face- to my temple, my eyelid, my cheek. my hand reached up and grasped his fingers instinctively, and my eyes fluttered closed as i felt his lips brush against mine- stealing both my breath and my doubts and tossing them to the swirling winds around us as i sat there with him, locked in his embrace and his kiss, while all of the world passed by us in silence.
i never heard their snide insults and jeering comments, i never saw their pointed fingers and pointed stares. and i still don't. everything that i ever hoped for was now sitting beside me, watching my body rise and fall with every contented breath as i stared up at the clear sky, no longer squinting, but smiling happily. i remember our fingers dancing and clasping each other.
the world didn't seem so harsh anymore.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment